On turning 33

I wrote this post on my actual birthday, Thursday, but forgot to post it until today...oops.

Today I turned 33. Instead of reminiscing about this day 33 years ago (um, impossible), I started off today thinking about this day 17 years ago. Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit came on the radio on my way to work, and I remembered my sweet 16.

I had failed my driving test that day and was devastated in a way that only a 16 year old can be about something like that. I cried, which always makes me really tired, and when we got home my mom suggested that I take a nap. I almost never take naps, but I was exhausted from the "trauma" so I agreed. Dad called me downstairs when dinner was ready, and when I turned the corner into the kitchen, all my friends were there waiting for me! It was such a complete shock, and it was so awesome.

We all sat around the table and ate the meal I requested every year for my birthday - spaghetti, garlic bread and salad - then my mom brought out the sheet cake she had made with a street scene painted on it in icing and a red lollipop as a stop sign.

After dinner, my friends gave me a few presents and I got my very first (and best) mix tape of all time, Ethal Mix #1. That tape has long since worn out, which is a sad thing. I know I could recreate it on a CD, but it wouldn't have things like "w-w-Y 107!" accidentally recorded from the radio in between Wild Thing and West End Girls. Gah it makes me so sad that kids today will never experience what it was like to spend hours waiting by the radio, ready to push the record button when their favorite song finally comes on. Anyway, the other gift I remember getting was from an unlikely source, my much more conservative friend Christina Gallagher: a cassingle of Smells Like Teen Spirit. In a weird way it meant more that it came from her because I knew she didn't like that kind of music but got it for me anyway because she knew I loved it Nirvana.

The next day my mom took me to a different driving test facility, I passed with flying colors, and life went on. Now I'm 33 and I still wonder if the day will ever come that I'll feel like a real grown up and not a kid playing dress up. I sorta hope it never does.


Anonymous said...

I remember that day so well!I can't believe that was 17 years ago. Wow! :) I feel the same too. Just glad I don't look the same. Oh those bangs!!! Happy Birthday! I love you!

Libby Gourley said...

i wasn't sure who this was until i got to the bangs part, haha :) we all looked rough!! don't even sweat it. i love you too!!

A.P.L. said...

How great to read!! I failed my test at the Franklin center, can relate to the traumatic feelings;)! Thanks for the good pics!

janzi said...

Just came across your blog and will be back.....I do hope you can update us as to whats been going on whilst you have been absent!???

Anyway, just wanted to reply to your question 'when do you get to feel grown up?' I guess if you are like me.. the answer is never!!I am now approaching the end of my 60's being 68 this May 013, and I never feel grown up even so.. I raised 5 wonderful kids who are all established in their careers and some have children of their own.. but I still feel as young and happy as I did in my teens. I love the fact that I am still in touch with my friends from that time, that I am not covered in wrinkles.. but I am still waiting to feel a grown up!!! YOu enjoy all your years, [being a grown up can be such a kill joy !!] just enjoy and all will be fine!!! hugs from across the pond. janzi